Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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