At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
