dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How's work?
Spinning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
