No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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