dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
