last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
