I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
