does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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