For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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