"it" just moved
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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