I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize