Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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