i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize