idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she peed on how many people?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
