I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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