i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize