Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When are your genitals available?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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