So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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