what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
