Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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