U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
