dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize