i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
