i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
