idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Even the bartender felt bad for me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
