Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
