Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
