I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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