for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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