It's just like the Real World with babies
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
