I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
