the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize