Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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