her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
