how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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