There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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