I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
