Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
