Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
