I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
