dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
