he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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