dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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