There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
