We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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