i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
