i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize