I bet he comes in French.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
