Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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