i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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