If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
