I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
