I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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