There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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