I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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