My cat gives me a boner
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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