i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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