if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
