I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
