cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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