I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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