Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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