It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
