im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
