areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
even my farts smell like vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
